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My job was pretty much over. All I had to do was guide Ganja Gorilla when he needed me. Almost like Zordon and The Power Rangers.
I watched him tear those octo-aliens like they were cheese. They couldn't lay a tentacle on him, and I could feel their frustration from the other side of the television. The laws of the multiverse were in my favor.
"Eat my shit, Octopussy!" Screamed Ganja Gorilla as he force-fed the octo-alien to consume his fecal matter.
The sun was intensely bright above them. The streets glimmered in tar dust and rubble from damaged buildings, cars, and nearby objects. People were still taking pictures with their cell phones, so you know which period we are fighting in.
My travels through time may have helped to save us. Think about it. If I would have said no to Jim, what would have been the consequences?
Jim would have either continued to travel back to 1972 himself, find someone else, or continue to run from them and possibly fight without Joe Sousa. As an older man, he would not have gotten that far. And from the little respect that he showed me when he gave me the device would suggest he had no time to give it to anyone else.
That leaves us with two timelines that are the most likely scenarios. The first being he fails, and the octo-aliens linearly devour our timeline. The latter would be me traveling through time which would cause them to scarf us in a non-linear manner. That means their greedy little eyes are passing over pockets of timelines.
I learned that these pockets have timelines that make it past the cosmic crunch by default of their very nature. If there are infinite timelines, some storylines play out where the aliens are unsuccessful. The existence of these timelines proves I'm slowing them down. They would have a complete bundled meal if I didn't rip open and split timelines. Of course, I have been doing this unintentionally, but it's still a good thing.
What makes me more cheerful is that I created a universe with laws that only allow for one-way interactions with the universe that I and the octo-aliens live in. Our universe works in a way where we constantly interact with others and vice versa. To be able to manipulate this field is what it means to be a god. The beauty of it all is that it is being done to me and to all infinitely above me. That is what makes the multiverse animate, and it is also what will save my kind from these greedy bastards.
Watching my baby tear the heads off these octo-aliens made me proud of what he has become. Five years ago, he was an idea that I thought could help launch my cannabis entertainment business. Today he's out there saving the world.
The super octo-aliens faded in from out of thin air. One of them grabbed Ganja Gorilla.
"Help!" Fearfully shouted Ganja Gorilla.
I snarled at the friendly octo-alien and said, "I thought those pricks couldn't touch him!"
He replied, "The others can not. The super-beings can. But That does not mean he can't fight back."
I saw G-squared staying focused and putting in additional effort. I needed to help him, so I programmed a portal to bring me out of the blue shift.
"Where are you going?" asked the friendly octo-alien.
"I'm giving Ganja Gorilla some backup," I replied.
I ripped open a window on top of the skyscraper that Ganja Gorilla and the super octo-alien were fighting on. I patiently waited for them to reach a particular spot on the building so I could open another window into space.
Ganja Gorilla gained the upper hand and went ape shit. He started pouncing on the super octo-alien's eyeballs.
Bam, bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam -
"Double G, finish him in there!" I shouted.
They can only float, not fight in space. The super octo-aliens stay up there, having the lower-class octo-aliens do all the work while waiting to be fed. They only come down when things are out of control. Well, they fucked up. I know their weakness. Space. The final frontier.
Ganja Gorilla grabs the tip of one of the octo-alien's tentacles and throws him into the space portal. I leave the window open to continue to surveil. Nearby windows get sucked into the vacuum of space.
Some of the super octo-aliens in space float towards Ganja Gorilla and their comrade-in-need. They must know that their actions are futile. They could barely move space junk out of their way. This is a losing fight for them.
But they had weapons and started blasting them.
Ganja Gorilla dodged one after the other. He started throwing space junk and surprise roundhouse kicks.
A hundred other super octo-aliens floated towards him, but Ganja Gorilla wouldn't give up. He kicked their asses for hours.
One by one, the super octo-aliens were tormented and embarrassed.
Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks. Ganja Gorilla was on the warpath.
The octo-aliens seemed like they had enough.
"I've been updated," claimed the friendly alien. "They have had enough and are willing to cooperate."
"If we allow them to live, the only way they won't eat us is if we merge with them," I acknowledged. "I don't think anyone would be open to that idea. We can try, but people love their autonomy and privacy. I can guarantee you that sharing a body with an extraterrestrial being isn't an easy sell. Life will be easier for my species if we don't allow your octo-alien brothers and sisters to live. But would it be the right thing to do? What if they rebel again? Is it worth it?"
"These aren't easy questions, Adler," said the friendly alien.
"You never told me your name," I prodded.
"We do not have names in the way you know them," he admitted. "Our names are communicated through colors not visible to your humanoid eyes."
"Can I call you 'Ozzy'?" I queried.
"I suppose so," he responded.
"Ozzy, I do not know how to choose," I stated. "This is not something I was able to prepare myself for."
"Then let me decide for you and make our death painless and quick," he suggested. You are right. We may have peace for a long time. However, our undying hunger will take control sooner or later, and we will revert back to our primitive way of thinking. Living with a host body can only satiate us for so long. Our nature is to destroy."
"You haven't tried to eat me this whole time Ozzy. Why is that?" I asked.
"Because I chose to be in battle with myself constantly." He stated. "I am in constant pain and anguish, but I loved my humanoid host. He showed me what empathy was, and it never left me. I knew I had to find you and help you when I first heard of your actions. My kind cannot keep living like this. There is no purpose other than the act itself. I cannot live like that, not after developing empathy. Mass suicide or genocide is the only answer including for me. I don't want to fight myself anymore, Adler. I am tired and am in deep suffering. Death is preferable."
"I cannot be the reason for your species extinction. Especially not after their surrender," I stated.
"Then we will have to do it ourselves, Adler," reaffirmed Ozzy.
"Let us try and see if my people will be willing to help save yours." I requested.
"Adler, I applaud your efforts, but you and I know that most aren't like me," he admitted. Most would not be willing to fight their inner demons. It isn't easy for me either. Let's not waste any more time. Let me send the message back now. This can all be over within the next hour."
I paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and let it out. I looked up at Ozzy, and he knew the answer.
"What will happen to Ganja Gorilla?" I queried.
"He has his own autonomy. I will allow him to continue if he wishes and give him my personal device to discover what he can become," said Ozzy,
He closed his eyes, and his device lit up. He opened his eyes again and said, "The message was sent."
I didn't say anything after that. What could I say?
I went back to my reality, and Ganja Gorilla and Ozzy faded into the blue shift. I wonder where he is headed off to next.
As for me, 2022 had some residual timelines left after the cosmic crunch, but I had a hard time finding one similar enough to my original timeline. I ended up back in the year 2018. The timelines here were more abundant and were close enough to my own. I also had the opportunity to do things differently from the first time around. 2018 wasn't my best year. It was the year Ganja Gorilla went downhill for me, and I lost everything.
Perhaps this war gave me a second chance at life. Time was on my side, and I wasn't going to fuck it up again.
I have an appointment set up with a big-time investor today. I am not going to be late for it this time. I learned my lesson.
I was sitting in the waiting room sweating through my yellow button-down shirt when I got the call.
"Adler," called the receptionist.
I stood up and straightened my tie. This is it. Time to change history.
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