Ganja Gorilla Adventures The Multiverse - Episode 1

My creator fades off into the blue shift. I did my job, so there is no reason for me to stay with him. What do I do now?

I turn to the octo-alien and ask, "Now what?"

"Now, I must prepare for self-destruction, but first, let me give you a gift," replies the friendly alien octopus that my creator called "Ozzy."

He hands me a cylindrical-shaped device and continues, "This is what was used to create your universe. It also allowed us to create a path for you to reach ours. This device's potential uses are endless, so use it carefully."

He closes his eyes and says, "Let me download the instructions into your mind."

I feel a warm and spacey feeling in my head.

Ozzy opens his eyes and says, "The transformation is now complete Ganja Gorilla."

"I can go anywhere I want in the whole multiverse?" I rhetorically ask. "I wonder what adventures I'll go on."

Ozzy grabs another device and swipes around on its screen. "Just be careful not to interact with anything. If you do, that could cause negative consequences on the multiversal landscape. I advise you to only observe and learn."

"So I can't have any adventures?" I prod. "Wasn't I created to interact with your universe?"

"That is different," replies Ozzy. "We created your universe to save our own. These other universes are already established with a story of their own. Would you want to hurt others who want to live?"

"No," I grunt.

"Then be careful," commands Ozzy. "You should be an explorer, not an influencer. Now I must go. Remember my words. Goodbye, G-squared."

I set my destination for a world where chocolate is in just about everything, and ganja grows all around it. I can still get high and eat chocolate, right? Ozzy didn't mention anything about eating. He just said don't interact with anything. That means living conscious creatures. Not chocolate and ganja.

"Goodbye, Ozzy," I respond. I press a few buttons on the cylindrical-shaped spacetime device, and voila. I open a portal to the world of ganja and chocolate with the device and jump through. I stood on top of a waterfall oozing down in the yummy chocolatey goodness. I have no choice but to dive in and indulge in my newfound physical senses.

I gobble up as much chocolate water as possible and run off before the chocolate gazelles run too far to catch. They taste even sweeter than the water. Their leathery flesh helps to further define the chocolatey experience. The chocolatey arteries that were chaotically spewing cocoa blood lathers up all the chocolatey meat around it.

As I rip the Gazelle open further, I notice its whole system is very similar to the life of my creator but evolved to have what can only be described as cocoa atoms instead of a carbon-based structure. This means that this earth is far removed in dimensions than the ones my creators or I come from. How much damage could I really do to the multiverse here?

I climb a tree to grab some chocolate nuts and spit them out just as quickly because they taste like shit. They are not sweet at all.

A bomb explodes behind me as I attempt to get the disgusting taste out of my mouth. I turn around and saw an entire city turn into a mushroom cloud.

What is going on there?

Ozzy said I should be an explorer, so I should see what's happening. I climb down a couple of feet and swing on the chocolate vines hanging from the trees until I reach the city's edge.

I pull hard on the chocolate vine until it snaps off the tree and into my mouth.

Is that cocoa blood all over the city's blown-up buildings? I take a quick lick to test out my hypothesis. Holy shit! It is!

I look around for some marijuana and find a tall Sativa tree. I grab some of its sticky icky buds and then rip a cocoa leaf off another tree. I roll that shit up and use my exoskeleton suit's robotic lighter to puff puff puff that spliff up!

Ok, now I'm ready for this.

I walk through the streets. There is definitely no one to interact with, so I should be ok.

Boy, whoever did this, they must have been some angry motherfuckers. I don't even think I have ever gone this apeshit before!

This is starting to bum me out. I don't know if I want to go exploring here anymore.

Zap! Zap zap zap! Laser beams pass by me. The sound catches up.

"Ow, that hurt!" I shout.

I jump in the air, flip and twist to see the prick who tried to kill me! It's a chocolate human soldier.

"Don't move another inch, FREAK!!! Shouts the yummy-looking soldier. I can't resist its dark curves and how the sun reflects yet doesn't melt that cocoalicious booty.

I forcefully jump and chomp off his creamy-centered head. Is that peanut butter flavored cream? Maui Waui, that's my favorite kind of chocolate!

A bunch more decadent-looking soldiers stumble my way.

"I'm letting you guys know now that I haven't eaten since I left my universe, so I plan on being liberal with my diet here."

I chomp one chocolatey arm off, rip another from the soldier behind me, and burn the other choco-soldier with my exoskeleton robotic lighter. Direct heat seems to do the trick.

I lick away the dripping chocolate so as not to waste any. There are starving kids in China.

The soldiers had no chance. They all landed up in my belly quicker than you can say "antidisestablishmentarianism."

No one else was around me. Does that still count as interacting if I ate everyone I interacted with?

The ground rumbles and a scary-looking banana wearing a cape and crown says, "I am Bananza, king of all bananas, soon to be ruler over all the chocolates and ganja of this world! I command you to tell me where you are from! You can't be from around here being as you don't look like anything from this world!"

"I am from a universe born to save another," I reply. "After my victory over the alien scumbags that tried to hurt my lord, I decided to adventure the multiverse. I like chocolate and ganja, so this was the most obvious place to visit first."

"Lucky for me, this was the last city on this planet that I planned to overthrow. Now that I have succeeded in its destruction, it's time for expansion," King Bananza squeals.

"This is bananas," I shout. "I'm out.

I pull out my spacetime device and set the coordinates to Adler's world when Bananza jumps at me.

He packs a powerful punch that knocks me to my feet. I drop the device. We both hurl towards it until I shove him out of the way. I grab it and receive a roundhouse kick to the head.

I open the portal to my creator's world and jump. Bananza grabs hold of my exoskeleton suit as I'm about to land in Adler's universe.

He grabs my device as soon as we fall to the ground on the other side.

"Give that back!" I command. "Now!"

"Is that a universal undo symbol I see on this device?" He asks. Before I can grab it from him, he presses the button, reopens the portal to his world, and jumps through. He closes it before I can reach it.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I worriedly shout.

People look at me and then run in fear.

I need to find Adler. He will know what to do. He also has his own spacetime device, so maybe he could help me.

There is one problem. I have no idea how to find him.

"Hands in the air," shouts someone to the left of me. I turn my head and see it's a cop.

"I don't have time for this shit," I exclaimed. I turn on my jet pack and fly upward. He shoots his gun at me, but the bullets go right through me since I was created as a one-way interaction with this universe.

Ten minutes pass when I notice I'm being followed by a couple of military jets. This might be a good thing. If I cause enough of a ruckus, Adler might see me on the TV and know that I'm looking for him.

Pretty soon, I have multiple jets on my hairy ass. I am not sure if I am doing enough to get Adler's attention.

I fly towards the earth and search for a nearby Ganja dispensary to rob.

I notice in my peripheral vision a shiny captivating sign that read "Build-A-Bong" mechanically spinning on top of a stand-alone marijuana dispensary.

Perfect.

I pierce through the window glass and land on the ground. "Give me all your ganja and goodies...NOW!!!" I jump behind the counters and grab some of the canna-candy. I rip open some bags and shove the goodies in my mouth.

Police sirens screech from a distance as I'm chugging down on a canna-beer. A helicopter whirs its way above the scene, and I hear many pedestrians screaming for their lives.

I should probably go outside again for more exposure.

I bust down the door and run out. I look up and see the helicopter. It says channel 4 on it, so that must mean that they are reporters. I smile and wave at the camera, "Hi, Adler! It's me, Ganja Gorilla! I need your help!"

I see a reporter in the helicopter saying something, but I can't hear her. Could she hear me? I activated my jetpack and flew up to the helicopter. I break the door open.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you," I say. "I just need you to film me so I can let my creator know I need his help."

We stare at each other for a long moment.

I smile and say, "Pretty please?"

The cameraman puts the camera back on his shoulder, and a red light dot flickers on it. "You're on the air."

"No, I'm on this helicopter," I corrected.

"You're being filmed," argued the cameraman.

I look into the camera, "Adler, if you're listening, I fucked up. A banana known as King Bananza took my spacetime device, and I think he may do some fucked up shit with it. I'll wait for you at the Build-A-Bong Dispensary on 5th and Havana."

I jump out of the helicopter and activate my jetpack. I think that should do it.

The U.S. military shoots bullets at me as I land near the dispensary entrance. Silly humans. They don't know I'm a one-way interactive alternative universal being. Can't touch this.

Within a few minutes, they brought in the top guns. All they did was ruin a perfect dispensary. I didn't really care. It's not like as if I can get high off of anything in this universe, so what is it to me if this dispensary still stands or not? Their loss.

About an hour passes when the waste of bullets is called off. The dust settles, and several military personnel escort Adler to me.

"Hi, Adler!" I shout with joy.

"G-Squared, what have you done?" Adler worriedly queries.

"I had no other way of finding you, so I had you come to me!" I cry.

Adler walks up to me. "I probably should have given you a way to reach me. Perhaps we could have avoided all of this."

"Perhaps." I agree.

"So who is this King Bananza, and how did you lose your spacetime device to a banana?" Adler prods.

"I thought I could cause no harm if I got high and ate chocolate from an alternative universe far removed from your own, but it turns out that there was a war going on. I ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time," I admitted. "He stole my spacetime device, Adler! I need to stop him before he hurts more innocent people!"

"I was really hoping to keep my spacetime device, but I understand the fate of the multiverse is at stake," relays Adler.

"Come with me," I request.

"I wish I could Double G, but I finally made something of myself on this earth, and I have many obligations to fulfill. I did bring the device, though," states Adler as he hands me the spacetime device.

I accept his gift with sadness. "I'll miss you, Adler."

"I'll miss you too, Ganja Gorilla," he replies.

I plug in the chocolate and ganja earth coordinates, rip open the window, and jump through it. I close it before anyone from his earth could get through.

The cocoa Gazelles that graze by me remind me that it's been a while since I ate. I feel a little guilty now, but it's all game when it comes to survival. King Bananza, on the other hand, is just a douchebag. He doesn't need to conquer multiverses and ruin people's lives for fun. I will have to tell myself that every time I chomp down on a chocolatey Gazelle to numb the guilt.

I capture one of them. "Sorry, Mr. Gazelle - Can I call you Mr. Gazelle?" I ask. "I don't want to hurt you, but I need to eat to stop a bad banana unnecessarily hurting other creatures." I bit down on Gazelle's neck. "Gee, I hope you understand," I muffled with a mouth full of bloody chocolate meat.

As soon as I finished my dinner, I grabbed some ganja from the bushes nearby and a cocoa leaf to wrap it in. I keep an eye out for foot tracks that resemble King Bananza's prints.

I still haven't found him yet. Did he figure out how to travel to other universes yet?

I settle down for the night. I lay my head down and close my eyes when I hear a familiar sound. It was the sound of a rip in spacetime.

I open my eyes, jump up, and run towards the sound. I arrive at the spacetime window and see King Bananza playing with the device.

"King Bananza!" I shout.

He turns around. "How did you get back here without this device?"

"I can't let you take over any more earths! It's not right!" I shout.

"I have learned much about this advanced technology in your absence. If there was a chance in you stopping me, it is long gone now," replies King Bananza as he jumps through the window.

I run towards the closing portal. There is no way I'm going to get through it before it is sealed. I grab a chocolate tree branch and throw it into the portal before it closes. Half of it made it through.

If I find that chocolate tree branch, I may discover King Bananza in the endless haystack of our multiverse.

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Stay tuned for the next episode of Ganja Gorilla adventures the Multiverse! If you enjoy reading this content, then share it with all of your friends today, and get an extra discount on your next high hiking adventure for every new referred subscriber.

Check out the backstory of Ganja Gorilla by reading Reefer Rabbit's Most Magical Ranch and The Time Ripper.