Ganja Gorilla Adventures The Multiverse - Episode 3

It took only a couple of minutes for me to untie myself. Bananza is long gone, but I'll find him. It may be easier if I ask my friends from the ranch to help me out.

I pull up the saved address to my universe, rip open a hole, and jump through. I land in my favorite part of the ranch: the field of Golden Goat Ganja. I take one big whiff, and the memories of bright sunny mornings fill my mind.

My friends are going to be excited to see me!

I bounce over to our house and find White Widow cooking up some nice stew.

"Whatchya cooking, Widow?"

White Widow turns around in utter surprise, grabs me for a big hug with all eight limbs, and says, "I'm so excited you're back! And just in time for the human hunting holiday! Our ranch has had much success with breeding them this year! We have an abundance for the annual town festival, and we sure could use you on our team!"

"I have been so busy with my adventures that I completely forgot all about my favorite holiday! I, unfortunately, cannot stay for long, for the entire multiverse is at stake. I need the gang's help," I state with urgency.

"Surely you have just a few hours to rest your mind from all that and have some fun. It could be good for you. Might give you the space you need to find a solution," replies White Widow.

"I suppose you're right, my friend," I admit.

White Widow guides me out to where the rest of the gang is. We walk up to the human barn where the gang milks the female humans.

To be honest, it seems like a barbaric practice to me now that I know that an actual human created me. However, our creator did make them for us to eat, so I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. It says more about his thoughts on humans than it does about me. This is my favorite holiday, and I'm just going to leave it at that.

My friends join in for a big group hug.

"I missed you guys so much," I state as I pull a joint out.

I light it up and pass it to Reefer Rabbit, who replies, "We have missed you so very much as well, Ganja Gorilla! The ranch has not been the same since you left!

"What kind of adventures were you on?" asked Dab the Donkey.

I reply, "after battling with an alien octopus race from another universe, I ended up visiting other worlds to explore and learn from. I landed on this one planet I named coco-ganja earth 1 for some entertainment but landed in the wrong place at the wrong time. A sentient banana stole my spacetime ripping device and is now trying to conquer the multiverse! I was able to get a backup device from our creator, but the problem seems to have grown out of control, and I do not think I can finish this on my own."

The joint makes its way back to me. I take a few giant puffs and pass it again to Reefer Rabbit.

"We'll help you out, friend, won't we, gang?"

Everyone nods their heads except for White Widow, who says, "Someone has got to stay back and manage the ranch while you are out saving the multiverse with Ganja Gorilla! Don't worry. I have eight arms so I should be able to hold the fort down just fine."

I look around the barn to see all the livestock healthy and ready for the holiday. I look at the luscious breasts of some of the human females. I'm a breast kind of guy. Cook it up medium rare, and I'm a happy camper.

We dress the humans up to look pretty for the game.

A few hours pass by when the townspeople start to show up. We had plenty of humans caged up in the fields and ready to play.

The mayor of Greensville walks up to us and warmly greets us. "My favorite ranchers of Greensville, how are you all doing these days? I see you have a healthy stock of humans this year! I want you all to know that much of today's proceeds will be going towards the "Build-Back Better campaign," which will fix the rest of the issues left from that Kangaroo debacle."

"It's nice to see you too, mayor," says Reefer Rabbit. "I hope you're ready for some competition. Ganja Gorilla is back in town for a little, and he is our top shooter!"

"Well, now, I have stepped up my game with some practice. I even got myself a laser pointer for more accurate aim," bragged the mayor.

I unlock and let the humans run out of their cages and into the open field.

The annual hunting holiday begins. "On your marks," I announce to everyone as everyone lines up. "Get set..... Aaaaand, go go go!"

We all start running with our weapons. I have my favorite ax with me and chop human heads off. I shoot our color nets over the corpses so that everyone knows it's our win.

Reefer Rabbit shoots two females in the back. "Double score," whoops Reefer Rabbit. He points to one of them and declares, "that one over there, I get first dibs on the barbequed boobies! He shoots our color net over them, and we continue forward.

We ended up with about four dozen kills, making us the winner of the annual festival. We invite everyone to our BBQ party. Reefer Rabbit chopped off the boobies of the human he desired to devour, seasoned them up, and threw them on the grill.

Shatter Sheep turns on the music, and everyone gets into the mood of dancing. Shatter Sheep and Dab the Donkey pass around a bunch of joints, bowls, and bongs for everyone's smoking pleasure.

I wake up the following day and jump out of bed with full energy. I walk into the living room, where everyone enjoys tea and breakfast. "Good morning, everyone," I sang.

"Good morning, Ganja Gorilla," everyone sang back to me.

"I hope everyone is filling up on a hearty human breakfast," I say as I look around at all their stuffed cheeks full of reefered-human pot pie. "We need all the energy we can get to save the multiverse!"

We all enjoy White Widow's famous reefered-human pot pie with intestinal gravy over some good banjo music playing.

After a tasty and complete breakfast, we put on our robotic suits, rip open a hole to Strawberry earth, and jump through the portal.

"The last time I encountered king Bananza, the evil banana I was telling you about, we fought here on this version of earth," I inform my friends.

"This place sure looks yummy!" exclaims Dab the Donkey. Is it safe to eat?"

"I don't see why not," I reply.

He digs his face in a patch of blue strawberries.

I continue, "I was able to create a tracer on him. However, there are endless versions of him."

"I don't know if we can fight forever, Ganja Gorilla, "claims Reefer Rabbit. "We have an entire ranch to run! There has to be a way to stop all of him at once."

"If my calculations are correct, it wouldn't be just him who we have to worry about," I admit. "There would be an infinite amount of varied threats. I really fucked up, you guys."

"From what I gather, you were trying to do the right thing," Shatter Sheep shares. "Don't be too hard on yourself. We will help out the best we can. Plus, if we don't stop him, we may also not have a ranch to go to anyways."

"You said you found a way to track him down, right?" Asks Reefer Rabbit.

I nod my head.

He continues, "Then why not gain his genetic code and use a kill switch to turn him off all at once?"

"You're right, Reefer Rabbit!" I joyfully shout. "All we would have to do is find him again, hold him down, and grab some of his genetic material. Then we can piggyback the data to the GPS and create a kill switch to shut him off! You're a genius, Double R!"

Reefer Rabbit takes out a joint, lights it, puff puff puffs it, and then passes it. As the joint goes around the circle, I search for a universe where the most recognizable version of him exists.

As I am deep in thought, Dab the Donkey nudges me, "Hey buddy, you gonna take or pass the good stuff?"

I grab the joint and puff puff puff it as my fingers speedily type away. I grab it out of my mouth, hold a big drag for about 5 seconds, and then say as I breathe it out slowly, "Found him."

Everyone smiles.

I pass the joint back to Reefer Rabbit and say, "It'll be four against one, so this shouldn't take too long. You guys will be back quicker than you can finish one of White Widow's famous old reefered-human pot pies!"

"If we stop all of him, does that mean you'd be coming back with us?" Asked Dab the Donkey.

"I don't think so," I replied. "Not yet. After I helped our creator out, I had a strong desire to see what else was out there so I could learn more about myself and grow as a person. Even if there are no other threats than king Bananza, I still need to find myself to feel whole."

"I'm not gonna say that I know what that feels like, my friend, but I definitely support your choice and hope that you become the gorilla you were meant to become," Reefer Rabbit remarks.

He hugs me.

I then rip open a hole in the fabric of spacetime, and we all hop on through to the next earth where one of king Bananza hikes up the Great Chinese Wall.

"Fuck rutters! I see you brought some friends to play, Double G," taunts the banana.

Reefer Rabbit and Shatter Sheep charge at him. Bananza blocks Reefer Rabbit's punch, then kicks Shatter Sheep to the ground.

I jump and flip in the air towards him. He punches me in the chest, and I bounce into a giant strawberry. It bursts open and splatters all over me.

Dab the Donkey takes out his handy-dandy dabbing device, turns it on, and breathes it in as he jumps out of his suit. He takes another puff before growing four sizes larger.

He kicks king Bananza a hundred feet in the air.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh," shouts king Bananza as he painfully flies in the air and then splats all over a building.

"Quick, everyone, we need to get a sample!" I nervously shout.

We fly over and see his guts all over the place. I grab the portal device he stole from me and put it in the safe inside my robotic suit.

"We did it, you guys!" I gleefully announce.

I grab a tube to collect a sample of his guts. I swoop some in and then close it off. I connect it to my portal gun and track the rest of king Bananza.

It took about an hour before the program I created understood how to calculate infinity into its algorithm and another couple of hours to do the actual calculations. However, we finally got a genetic marker on all of him.

"Ok, you guys, this is it," I confirm. "Once I press this button, all of king Banazas doppelgangers should become inactive."

I press the button to inactivate Bananza.

"Did it work?" Asks Reefer Rabbit?

I look down at the device's holographic screen and reply, "it looks like it. I'm gonna have to do some surveillance work for the next few months to make sure, but it looks like we got him."

"Let's go back to the ranch and celebrate gang!" Excitedly shouts Reefer Rabbit.

I rip open a portal back to our world where White Widow welcomes us with her reefered-human pot pie. Lots of bowls and bongs sit on the living room table, ready to lift us off to a higher state of mind.

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